


Who Holds Your Heart?

by MooToMoon



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Angst, But only if you squint, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25610422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MooToMoon/pseuds/MooToMoon
Summary: Seoho felt dizzy, the ringing in his ears was uncomfortable and the way his head throbbed made it hard to focus on his sorroundings.He had overworked himself. Too little sleep, not eating or drinking enoughand not taking care of himself the way the he should was the reason he was feeling like this, right?Right.Although the lump in his throat was indicating something else he was trying to ignore as he took a deep breath and swallowed, trying to make the lump disappear.-------------------------------------------Doing this because I am thirsty for Oneus fanfics and there are too few of them with Seoho/Leedo so a gorls gotta do what she gotta do; Write her own goddamn fics!English is not my first language, just a heads up!ALSO! Haven't written a fic since like 2014 so I'm rusty af
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Lee Seoho
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	1. Uncomfortable

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of long intro with not really that much going on, just so you all can get the feel of it all hah.

Seoho felt dizzy.  
No, that wasn't even beginning to describe the way that he was feeling right now.

His head was thumping in an uncomfortable, numbing kind of way and his temples felt like someone had positioned two fingers on each side, pushing into them and creating an obnoxious feeling of a pressure that spread all the way up around his head, down to his neck and shoulders.  
It was uncomfortable and made it hard to focus on his surrounding and the people inside of the waiting room. Even more so when the fucking ringing in his ears started, slowly creeping up in small annoying notes going off deep inside of his eardrums. It only contributed to the overall uncomfortable feeling already spreading through him.

Having Hwanwoong next to him on the couch, blabbering to him about some choreography or something, wasn’t really helping and Seoho really, really just couldn't care enough at this moment to listen to what the other was explaining.

He leaned against the back of the couch and tried taking slow breaths, counting in between the time he inhaled and exhaled, setting in to a steady rhythm while trying to get the dizziness to disappear, slowly setting his shoulder in a slow roll while trying to ease the tension that had built up in them.

All of this was probably happening as a sign of him being overworked, right? Lack of sleep, not eating or drinking enough and not really taking care of himself whilst preparing for their comeback could result in this, he knew that, and that was what he was trying to tell himself was the cause of this.

Although the lump in his throat was indicating something else that he decided to ignore, swallowing as he tried to get rid of it.

Somehow In the middle of it all, lost in his own thoughts and in the haze of his throbbing head, he noticed that Hwanwoong had stopped talking and was looking at him with a worried expression on his face, head tilted and eyebrows furrowed, a look that made Seoho feel uneasy for some reason. 

"Hyung, are you okay? You look a bit pale", Hwanwoong asked as he scooted closer on the couch he was sitting on, scanning Seohos face up and down.  
The older looked at him and gave him his standard smile, trying to look as unbothered as possible. "Yeah, Woongie, I'm fine", he said as he laughed a bit, "just a bit tired, that's all".

Of course this little interaction didn't go unnoticed by Youngjo, who walked over from Geonhak and Donju from the other side of the room and sat down in front of him on a chair, cracking open a bottle of water and handing it to him with a worried look on his face. The other two staring at the trio.

"Are you sure? Because it doesn't look like you're just 'tired'?", the older one asked, eyes looking right into his, searching them for a hint of… something that could tip him off of what was actually wrong. Seoho already knew that the black haired boy in front of him could tell that he wasn't being honest, but he gave him a small smile and nodded anyways, saying that he had had a hard time sleeping because of the nerves of all the preparations and stuff. There had been a lot of things to think about and all that.

Hwanwoong looked at him with a skeptical look, the one he always puts on when he's judging someone. He could tell that the younger wanted to press on because Seoho never got this kind of nervous before a show, and especially never had a hard time when it came to falling asleep. Heck, the whole group could fall asleep on top of each other, all in a tangled mess with the lights on and a bunch of people running around them.

"Okay then”, Hwanwoong nodded after a few seconds,” try to lay down and rest for a bit", he continued, dropping the subject after seeing how the older didn't want to seem to talk more about what was going on. "If it gets worse tell us so that we can have Youngjo run and get whatever you need", the younger continued with a smile on his face.  
The person that was mentioned nodded his head until he registered what the other had said and whipped his head to look at him, "why me? You're the one that should to that then?", he said with a frown.

Hwanwoong just looked at him and gasped, "you have to help him if he's not okay!", he said with a faked shocked expression on his face, putting a hand on his heart to emphasize the shock. "And besides I can't because if he starts to feel worse I'm going to stick to his side like a leach, making sure that he's okay", he continued before he wrapped his arms around Seoho in a, weirdly for him, comforting hug, making Youngjo stare a while at them before he smiled at Seoho and told him that, of course he would get whatever he needed to feel better. And Seoho knew that, him being the kindest person he had ever met.

The small conversation between the three continued and they talked about everything and nothing, about the performance, what food they should get later and so on. In the middle of their conversation, Seoho had actually started to feel a bit better, noticing that the thumping of his head and ringing in his ears had slowly disappeared, leaving him as good as when they had arrived to the studio.

He put on a genuine smile and took a deep breath, relaxing his now untense shoulders and sat up straight on the couch, stretching out his arms over his head, when he suddenly got an odd feeling, his skin prickling and a shiver making it up his spine when he got the feeling that someone was watching him.

He looked over at Keonhee first who was sitting by the mirror, getting his hair fixed by the hairstylist in a few small finishing touches. But the younger wasn't looking at him through the mirror, he was too busy looking at his phone, probably scrolling through their social media platforms, looking up what the fans are commenting about.  
The other staff members were busy running around fixing stuff or on they were in their phones as well.

Youngjo and Hwanwoong, although they were sitting with him, were in their own little world. Hwanwoong talking to Youngjo about the new choreography that he was telling Seoho about before, glad that someone actually was listening him. Youngjo only sat with a small smile on his face, nodding his head and jumping in with a few compliments here and there. 

So, that only left the two other people that was on the other side of the room. Seoho didn't want to look over there really, he had tried not to ever since he started feeling better since the cause of his uncomfortable state was because of them to start with.

But he did anyway, and he was meet with the charismatic blue haired boys' eyes that were looking at him, studying him with an intensity that almost made Seoho shiver. Almost.

Had he been watching him since Youngjo walked over here?

Seoho had a hard time breaking away from the others gaze, keeping the eye contact for a while not wanting to look away from the depth of Geonhaks eyes, enticing him and making him focus on the youngers face and his handsome features.

He doesn’t know how long he had spent locking eyes with the other, it felt like a long time though, but at the same time too short when whatever spell that surrounded them was broken. Geonhaks attention was wanted elsewhere, by someone else, so he was the first to look away and at the youngest member that walked up to him with a tired face and droopy eyes. Dongju had automatically plopped down on Geonhaks lap, burying himself into his chest with a small sigh, the older of the two giving him a small smile whilst wrapping his arms around him, resting his chin on Dongjus shoulder with a content look on his face.

Seoho just stared at them for a while, seeing how comfortable the two of them were in the others company and close proximity. This wasn't the first time that this had happened, of course not, they all sit on each other here and there... But this? It didn't sit right with Seoho.

He slowly averted his eyes and looked away from the pair, the throbbing in his head returning with the ringing starting up again, only this time it was a lot louder than before, much more uncomfortable with an added pressure over his chest to mix things up a bit.

He did not like this, he didn't like how he was feeling or how his body was reacting to this because god, why the hell did he have to get so affected by a normal act of platonic intimacy that they all engaged in all the time?

He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with a heavy, shaky sigh escaping his lips. He knew why he was reacting like this, knew why he was so bothered, why he didn't like Donju sitting on Geonhak like that and why he didn't like the look on his face when the youngest settled in his lap. So relaxed, so content so, so… happy.

The reaction to it all had just never been this strong before, and honestly it was freaking him out. He was kind of used to seeing them like this, all of the members like this really. It’s just that when it was those two who were being so close to one another, being touchy and all that, that it bothered him a lot. It made Seoho feel ashamed, really.

Seoho noticed that Youngjo and Hwanwoong once again was looking at him with concerned eyes, the elder putting a hand on his shoulder and searching his face once again with a more stern look on his face,"Seriously Seoho, what's wrong?".

Seoho stared at him for a bit before glancing towards the pair on the other side, one again locking his eyes with Geonhak who was staring at him once again, arms still wrapped tightly around Dongju in a warm embrace.

Youngjo was shaking his shoulder a bit carefully to get his attention, repeating the same question he had asked before with worry laced in his voice. Hwanwoong on the other side of him put his hand on his leg and called out his name carefully, the attention even bringing Keonhee to the couch, asking whats wrong.

Seoho just closed his eyes and took another deep breath before he looked up at them with his signature smile, once again telling them that he's just feeling a bit shaky and that the lack of sleep is getting to him a bit more than he thought, making him feel a bit dizzy and out of place. 

He couldn't possibly tell them that the sight of Geonhak and Dongju was making him sick to his stomach.


	2. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm realizing now how rusty I really am hah sorry.

Seoho had somehow managed to get his act together after a while, pushing away the sickening feeling he had before and started to act like he usually did when being surrounded by his members, cheering them on and making them laugh, even though he had to admit it felt a bit unnatural to him at that moment as he was not really feeling as chipper as the front he had put up.  
Even though he had tried to stay all bright and happy he had also tried, very subtly, to stay a few steps away from Geonhak since he still didn't feel like being around the man just right now, feelings still a bit jumbled up and pushing their way up whenever he was close to him.

Instead he had focused on annoying the other members in an attempt to show them that he was back to normal and that nothing was wrong, which seemed to work since Youngjo had stopped glancing at him every other minute with his worrysome expression plastered on his face, and had replaced it with a small smile instead.

His distant nature did not however go unnoticed by the younger male who had kept looking over at him from time to time, trying to approach him but with no success as Seoho had moved away every time to strike up a conversation with one of the other members, telling him that he would talk to him soon. Which he never actually did. 

They had just finished recording their stage without a single error, resulting in making all of them breathless and tired but at the same time giddy and buzzing with excitement over their perfect performance, happy to be back and on stage after a long time and hearing the cheers from their fans, something they barely had gotten used to even though they had debuted over a year ago. It still felt a bit unreal and like a dream to them all.

As they had walked off the stage Seoho felt an arm swing over his shoulder, gripping it hard as he got squeezed into an uncomfortable half hug, the person next to him just as breathless and giddy, flashing off his million dollar smile while jumping up and down. Seoho looked at the guy next to him and gave him a huge smile, his eyes crinkling up to half moons in the process.  
"We were amazing!", Keonhee shrieked out a bit too loudly making Seoho wince since the others mouth was technically right next to his ear. He glared a little at the other but then smiled and laughed, the energy from the man rolling over on to him.  
"It feels nice to finally be back on stage after all of these months of preparing and training", Seoho replied as they made their way to their waiting room, ready to get out of their stage outfits and change in to more comfortable clothes before grabbing their things and head back to their dorm. Even though they all probably wanted to go somewhere else to celebrate. But you know, company rules and all that.

Keonhee just hummed and removed his arm from his shoulder as he grabbed the cellphone from where he left in by the mirror, walking back to stand next to Seoho as he opened the camera.  
"I'm glad you feel better though, hyung", he said as he lifted the phone up, bringing the two of them in to the frame before striking a pose.  
Seoho looked into the camera and smiled as Keonhee took a picture before turning to him, "yeah, I think I was just a bit too stressed out and nervous", he replied with a small laugh, "the first performance is always the worst for me".

Keonhee smiled at him again and told him that he knew how he was feeling, although Seoho was pretty sure had no idea, before he lifted the phone up again, "let's take another, I looked kind of weird in the other one". 

Seoho complied since he knew that this was going up on their SNS later on to update their fans how it went and how happy they were over finally being back.  
As Seoho was getting into another pose, he felt two strong arms circling around him. One come up around his shoulder, the other from his waist and locking him in a back hug, the scent of the familiar cologne hitting his nostrils making a mild panicked feeling creeping its way up his body.

"Wait I want to join in on this as well", a deep, baritone voice boomed into his ear, the vibration from the other stroking his back, reminding him how close he was to the other.  
He could feel his heart speed up and tried to act cool and trying to calm down since he knew that Geonhak probably, no most certainly, could feel his heartbeat against his chest.

Trying his best to look unbothered, he put up one of his hands and did a 'V' pose with his fingers whilst smiling into the camera, mentally screaming at Keonhee to just take the picture already because he warmth of the other against his back was too much to handle.

When they were finished taking the picture Keonhee smiled and looked at it before he showed it to them and told them that he was going to post it. The other two just agreed since the boy was going to publish it no matter what they said since he himself had looked good in it. Which Keonhee did in every picture anyways.

When he walked away to change out of his attire and gather his belongings, Seoho was still standing at the same spot, Geonhak behind him and still locking him in a back hug with no sign of letting him go.

"Eh Geonhak, you can let go now", he mumbled out a bit more weak than he had intended, his head fogging with the close proximity and the others cologne filling up his senses, the warmth of the other burning against his back. It felt comfortable, yet he couldn’t wait to get away from him.

The other boy didn't reply and just stared at him, his breath tickling his neck and he could feel a shiver making its way down his spine. "I have to get out of my outfit and get my stuff", he spoke out again,mildly panicked as he was trying to wriggle his way out of the others grasp without trying to look like he was trying to get as far away from the other as possible, his heart starting to ram in his chest at a much higher speed.

He finally succeeded and dashed away, changed out of his outfit and grabbed his stuff before he put on his jacket, thanking the staff and the stylist and made his way towards Keonhee, following him out of the room and towards their company van, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.  
Seoho sat himself on the empty seat at the back of the van, between Keonhee and Dongju in an attempt to escape having to sit next to Geonhak, knowing he was already too riled up from that small interaction before to sit next to him on the way back. Or overall really.

He put his head on Keonhees shoulder and glanced over at the phone he was holding, looking over what the other was writing as a caption to the photo they had taken together before. The other members entered the van a few minutes later and settled in to their seats, Seoho not even glancing over at them as he was now too occupied and involved in whatever game Keonhee was playing, intrigued at how the guy could be so good at a shooting game on a small phone screen with those small controls, although he did let out a laugh and teased the other whenever he got killed, making the other let out a whine before he scoffed, "you shouldn't be talking since you suck at stuff like this", he shot back with a grin on his face. Seoho could only let out a laugh because yes, he did in fact suck at games in general.  
Dongju next to him let out a small laugh as well, looking over to the two in the back who was bickering.

"Hyung, you're feeling better right?", He asked with a tired face, "you didn't look so good before".

Seoho got away from Keonhees shoulder and looked over at the youngest, guilt rising in his stomach and making him feel like a bad member for feeling the way he did. Dongju had not done a single thing that was wrong and here Seoho was, having a bit of bitterness towards him just because he was acting like a childish brat because he couldn't keep his feelings in control. It shouldn't affect the way he acted towards the other.

"I'm fine now, I just need some food and a good night's sleep", he smiled and wrapped his arm around him, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance and making the other smile.

"We'll get some food in your system as soon as we arrive", he hears Geonhak say as he turned around in the seat that was in front of the other two, "you have to eat better and take care of yourself properly", he continued.

Seoho looked at him as the smile on his face faded a bit. The other shouldn't suffer from his immature reaction to all of this either, since neither he had actually done anything wrong, but Seoho just couldn't act like his normal self around him so he just nodded and looked away, plopping one of Dongju's earphones in his ear, closing his eyes as the music infiltrated his head.

When they arrived at their dorm they all decided on who should shower first to not get in to an argument about it and they all agreed that they should just go after their age this time, starting with Youngjo who immediately made his way towards the bathroom as Hwanwoong talked to the manager about ordering in some food. 

The others made their way in to their respective rooms except for Keonhee who went into the living room whilst continuing with his game. Seoho plopped down on his bed and immediately grabbed a phone and went to check their performance video on YouTube, smiling at his group, pride swelling in his chest as he looked at all of them.  
When he was done with that he went into their Instagram account and looked at the picture Keonhee has posted of the trio, smiling as he once again read the cute caption he had written before he turned his attention to the picture, eyes focusing on the man that was standing with his arms around him and zooming in on him.  
Geonhak had a small smile on his face, nose scrunched up a tiny bit in a cute way and with a content look on his face, his eyes shaped in to crescent moons, his own expression on his face matching the others, although his smile looked a bit strained.

Seoho stared at the picture for a while, looking at the way Geonhak was embracing him from behind and furrowed his brows. He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when he had started feeling the way he did towards his group member. They had always been sort of close with one another, even before their debut, always hanging out, laughing, joking, bickering and teasing each other back and forth in a way they didn’t do with the other members. It was their thing and it was never with an ill intent, they just liked pushing each other's buttons in a kind of friendly way as it was also a way to get each others attention.

But somewhere in the middle of it all, that friendly banter and close friendship had developed over time and had turned into something more than just platonic teasing and attention seeking from Seohos side. He had noticed that, though he felt happy and giddy around all of his members who he adored a lot, he had started to feel nervous and a little more happier when he was being around Geonhak as the feeling of wanting to be close to him had developed more intensely. He wanted to see Geonhak smile, wanted to hear him laugh, wanting him to pay more attention to him and him only… which was also when he noticed how much it had started to bother him when the guy he couldn’t stop thinking about, always were so cuddly with the other members, especially Dongju. 

It was an uncomfortable feeling at first, small and nagging at the back of his mind but he always pushed it away, telling himself some sort of excuse to why that bitter feeling had started blooming in his chest. But the more time that passed, the bitter feeling had started growing stronger and stronger until he had to admit to himself that he in fact had a huge crush on the guy. Maybe even more than just a crush, yeah, he really liked him and the bitterness of it all, as he tried his best to hide it, was getting too much to handle as his feelings only seemed to have grown stronger over these couple of months.

He stared at the picture a while longer, eyes scanning the others face one again before he felt that squeezing tightness in his chest and let out a sigh before throwing away the phone and closing his eyes, putting one of his arm over them. Letting out a shaky breath he tried to compose himself, acting like this wasn’t going to solve anything, especially if it started to affect him so openly like today, making the other members all worried… he just didn’t know what the hell to do about all of this.

Seoho laid in his bed for a while, almost falling asleep when there was a knock on the door before it clicked and slowly opened, Geonhaks face peeking into the room and looking over at him.

“Youngjo is done so you can enter the bathroom now”.

Seoho glanced at him and swallowed, nodding his head before he rubbed his face as he sat up. Geonhak was still standing by the door looking at him a with an uncertain look on his face, body stepping into the room a bit more as the other got up from the bed and started grabbing the things he needed for the shower. When the black haired boy didn’t seem to leave, Seoho stopped and stared at him with a questioning look on his face.

“Can we talk?”, Geonhak asked, his head tilting a bit to the side as he licked his lips, a bit of nervousness flashing over his face.

Seohos eyes immediately flew to the others lips, following the tongue that was swiping over them before mentally cursing himself as he turned his head, shaking away the inappropriate thoughts that almost started forming in his head.

“Not right now, I’m too tired and just want to get into the shower”, he replied before he picked up his towel and started making his way towards the door.

“After then?”, the other said as he grabbed the others arm, stopping him just before he walked past him. Seoho gave him a small tight smile and nodded before he removed himself from the others grip and made his way towards the bathroom, locking himself inside the small space and marveled as the warm rays of water washed over him.

When everyone was done with washing up they sat down together and started eating the food they had ordered, Seoho letting out a content sigh as the food filled him up, realising it was exactly what he needed after this long day. Hwanwoong next to him laughed as he noticed his blissed expression that had made its way on his face and Seoho could only smile back.

They sat like that for a while and talked about their performance, their upcoming schedule over the course of the days that were coming up, joked around a bit like they always did before they were all too tired to go on.  
Once again they all took their turn in the bathroom, brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed. As soon as Seoho was done he plopped his arm around Keonhee and started talking to him about something random as he practically dragged the guy into their shared room, pretending to be so immersed in their conversation when they walked by Geonhak who was standing on the side and had been patiently waiting for him. 

Seoho could see from the corner of his eye that the guy looked at him with a hard face before he walked into his and Keonhees room, shutting the door. He felt bad about ignoring him, but he did not have an ounce of energy to talk to the other right now. The day had already proven to be too much for him and he really felt the tiredness hit him like a ton of bricks when he laid down on his bed, curling up under the covers as he closed his eyes.

The warmth of his bed surrounding him making him relax, although there was an itch on his arm where he still could feel the warmth of Geonhaks hand.


End file.
